Sheffield United's Paddy Kenny writes American NFL player Redd to see if he would fit in as an American athlete.
Hey Vince,
You may have heard. I just got busted. The suits found ephedrine in my system, which is a banned substance.
I've been banned for 9 months!
I was readin' where you got busted for the same substance and got banned for it, too. But your sentence was 4 games.
Since you guys in the NFL play once a week, that's 1 month. I got 9!
I think what I'm gonna do is become an American footballer. The penalties for drugs over here in Europe are a bit rich for my blood.
Or maybe become a baseball player - they don't ban the stuff in the majors I hear.
Since I've got some time on my hands, do you think I could come over to the States to get some cross-training from you? I'm a pretty good athlete. And, I'm tough as nails. Once I got into a fight in a pub with a friend who confessed to an affair with my wife, and during the brawl, he bit off one of my eyebrows!
I figure I'd fit right in with you guys over there. What do ya think?
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