From the Spot of the Foul

Please take your crawler and…

A despondent Premier League viewer in the United States has had it with ESPN's use of a crawler for score updates during match telecasts, and he vents it all at Dave Garroway, the inventor of it all.

A European night north of Hadrian’s Wall

Celtic 0 Arsenal 2

2009-10 UEFA Champions League, Playoff Round

Tuesday 18 August 2009 | Celtic Park | Glasgow, Scotland 

Since watching European football over the years, I've developed my favorite venues based solely on the feeling I get while watching matches on television.

I’m so tired

John Lennon is sick of the current transfer window (isn't everybody) and elicits Oskar Shindler to just deliver the final results of player moves in a simple list.

I want f*ckin’ goal line technology!

Crystal Palace's coach Neil Warnock is hot. One of the worst examples of a goal scored not given is the reason why. And, Warnock holds nothing back in his letter of complaint to Keith Hackett.

Do you smell gas?

Norman Bates ignores his mother and relishes in the terror that has suddenly befallen the Norwich City Football Club.

Nyet, Arsene

Alisher Usmanov, in his quest to wrest control of the Arsenal Football Club, writes a letter to manager Arsene Wenger, who is threatening to ruin Mr. Usmanov's credibility by opening the English Premier League with a surprising, sound whipping of Everton.

The league of nations

This weekend has been a celebration of the English Premier Leagues's opening fixtures. One reason some of us love this league is how the list of its players span the globe - the world nature of the world's game is well-represented indeed.

The furniture stays

June Ward needs help from her husband, Ward, who's out of town on a business trip. She's trying to decide if rearranging the same four pieces of living furniture (the "Big Four" is what she refers them as collectively) is the right thing to do. In her letter, she struggles with the idea of bringing in a replacement (recently reupholstered) for the winged-back French chair. Will Manchester City replace Arsenal in the EPL's "Big Four"?

Nicki, don’t lose that number

Nicholas Bendtner is in a bit of an embarrassing pickle. Leghorn writes him with a devious plan.

But I didn't want this to happen!

An adoring lunatic from America has a word or two for the whiny English press.

What were you expecting, revenge?

Mexico 2 USA 1

2010 FIFA World Cup Qualification, CONCACAF Fourth Round

Wednesday 12 August 2009 | Estadio Azteca | Mexico City, Mexico

After our B-side got soundly pounded and embarrassed 5-0 by our southern neighbor in the final of the Gold Cup last month in New Jersey, our Country's best today made the trip down to the Ninth Circle of World Cup Qualifying Hell – Estadio Azteca in Mexico City.

French league huh?

 Paul McCartney gets a bit nostalgic as he says hello to the opening of another French Ligue Un campaign.

No Animals Were Harmed During the Writing of This Post

 Norman Bates introduces himself to the Norwich City Football Club.

Prost!

 I love the German ladies. So does Professor Rath as he pays homage to the Blue Angel.

FA Community Shield postscript

Oh, the carnage! Material was plentiful for future notes to be posted on the visitor’s dressing room bulletin board prior to the next meeting of Chelsea and Manchester United on Sunday November 8 at Stamford Bridge.

Can’t wait.

Be safe - always tape... but know what you're doing

Chelsea 2 Manchester United 2 (4-1 pen)

England FA Community Shield

Sunday 9 August 2009 | Wembley Stadium | London, England

I was out to dinner with the Misses late last night after watching Julie and Julia, a new Hollywood release about a young woman's use of her idolization of Julia Child to get out of her personal rut, and I was thinking to myself – are you going to get up at a quarter-to-seven to watch another dreadfully tepid pre-season football match known as the FA Community Shield?

A dark underbelly of European football

And out of the swamp crawls...

English Premier League on ESPN2 this season?!?!

I have died and gone to heaven.

Worth a thousand words

I love great photographs of sporting events.

Let the self-loathing begin

England loses their second under-age European Championship in 34 days. So is this glass half empty or half full?

Let’s face it - the Scottish Premier League isn’t good enough

Glasgow Rangers' Boss Walter Smith is in favor of Summer Football in Scotland. Celtic Skipper Tony Mowbray is not. Would it make any difference?